Regression is a wonderful thing
Yeah, well, except for the part where I'm turning back into an eight-year-old.
It started with the juice boxes, and I will admit, they were my idea. Hey, a guy gets thirsty, and juice boxes, they have the straw attached and everything. Convenient, no? Plus, it's not like I'm carting the Ecto-coolers to work. I've been getting those Vruit juice boxes, the fruit juice mixed with veggie juice. Veggie juice is pretty grown up. I mean, I would have gotten my ass kicked if I tried pawning off carrot juice on the other kids on the playground when I was in third grade.
Still, juice boxes are just one of those inherently funny things in life. Drink a fine Bordeaux out of an 8 ounce juice box, and it will still look like your mother should be dressing you up in Garanimals.
So the juice boxes are one thing, but I did not realize how far I had fallen until the other day when I opened up my snack drawer at work (technically, I now have more drawers for snacks than I do for work) to get a package of Cheez-Its.
Now, lets back up to the weekend, when the missus, BB EC, and I went grocery shopping. The missus has control of the carriage while I'm making sure BB EC remains napping by keeping his stroller in constant motion. The missus likes very detailed grocery lists, while my needs are usually broken down into Breakfast, Lunch, and Snacks on the list, giving a lot of leeway for potential purchases. So I'm pushing the stroller back and forth while the missus heads down the snack aisle. She comes back with a package of nutter butters and a package of Cheez its. Decent choices both, but honestly, once something is in the cart, I'm ready to move on. She could have bought me jellied octopus rings and sugar free pork rinds and I would have been - sure, sure, that's great, honey - lets get the bread and get out of here.
Which brings me back to the Cheez-its. Or should I say, the Fun Shrek Shapes! Cheez-its. Oh lord, first the juice boxes, now this. Before I know it, I'll be reading Spiderman comic books and eating SpongeBob Jello pops in the break room while wearing striped tube socks hiked up to my knees. And I wonder why the missus is convinced I'm going to end up being a crazy old man.