I'm a winner! Explaining where I've been for a month

So, as all two or three of you may have noticed, there was a decided lack of Endangered Coffee in November. But don't worry, other than some intermittent cramping of my left hand, I have not lost the ability to write badly. In fact, I spent the entire month of November writing very, very badly. For the second year in a row, I took a shot at National Novel Writing Month, and unlike last year, when I brashly announced my intentions right here on this very space and then crashed and burned after about 11,000 words, this year, I kept the novel writing on the down low so as not to embarrass myself with my inevitable failure. And this year, my reverse psychology paid off, as I crossed the 50,000-word mark a whole day early on November 29. So now, according to the whims of a silly website, I am a novelist. The only embarrassment I'll feel this year is if I actually let anyone read my so-called novel.

Let's just say that this blog posting is vastly more entertaining and better written than my novel. Hell, typing random words like kielbasa pelican oboe trans am over and over again would be vastly more entertaining and better written than my novel. Let's just say my novel did not have much in the way of plot, character development, or action. It does, however, have several incoherent transgressions about cranberry bog monsters and the alien plot to assassinate JFK that actually end up having nothing to do with the main story, which is about an encyclopedia salesman who is falsely accused of kidnapping and murder and then must find a rare hockey book and return it to Roswell, New Mexico.

At the very least, I'm thinking I might spell check the sucker and print out a copy for laughs. But for the most part, I'm going to keep my embarrassing musings to the internets.