Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Reformed glue sniffers and words you shouldn't say, even in an overgrown field with old cars

Camped out at a volkswagen show once, somewhere in a field. Somewhere far enough away that it seemed worthwhile to stay overnight, but not so far that we left the confines of Northern New England. Don't really remember, think it may have been Vermont, or Western Mass. 

I believe Randy had the late 70s bus for this trip, which Spencer also joined us on. Mainly, I remember Spencer being there only because he wanted to prevent any misfortunate use of the word "snatch" at the Volkswagen show, which, if I have failed to mention it yet, was a bunch of old volkswagens parked in an overgrown field someplace in New England where less people live than I am used to. Where was I? Oh, that's right, before we got to the designated overgrown field, we were hanging out in a parking lot, which is much like a field, only with slightly less overgrown grass and slightly more pavement, and we were playing hackey sack. (Don't judge, it was the early 90s, kids did it, even good kids. Or something.)  Apparently, somewhere along the way, Spencer made a good catch, or as I referred to it, snatch, of the hackey sack, which, although etymologically correct, also denotes a certain female body party. He went off on a five-minute harangue about how I should not say that certain word during the show or I would get slapped in the face. It was duly noted.

Now, before we got to the overgrown field, I was picturing something a little more camplike, with lots of people, fires, maybe some cookouts. Turns out it was about a dozen people drinking beer in a field and sleeping in their cars and vans. No, sorry, make that 11 people drinking and one crazy middle-aged guy who kept talking about how all the kids in his town were sniffing glue. For some reason, he thought me, Randy, and Spencer were very interested in how these kids in town were polluting their bodies with the glue sniffing. Polluting their bodies behind the hardware store, polluting their bodies outside the sub shop, sniffing glue in the convenience store parking lot. The longer this guy talked to us, the more I was convinced he had sniffed a lot of glue. Reformed glue sniffers are always the worst.

Eventually, the reformed glue sniffer left us alone to pollute our bodies with our beer, which is normally a good thing. Except when you are sleeping in the back seat of a VW bus and are convinced you have to get up to pee every five minutes. Which means either trying to hold it and not sleeping, or trying to sneak out of the bus quietly and not wake everyone up to take care of business in the wilderness. I don't think I slept for more than two hours that night as I faced that moral urinary challenge.

Which means I may have been too tired to enjoy the actual volkswagen show the next day. Which, if I haven't mentioned it yet, consisted of a bunch of old Volkswagens in a slightly overgrown field somewhere that was most likely still in New England.


Blogger Road Tripper Randy said...

You remember more about that trip than me. I think we had mechanical issues on the way, which is very surprising considering it's a VW. And stuff.

11:41 PM  
Blogger Suldog said...

Hey, glad to see you're back to writing on a regular, or semi-regular, basis. As a reward, I'm putting your link back on my sidebar :-)

3:54 PM  
Blogger endangered coffee said...

The Suldog link! Now the pressure is on to keep it up!

6:21 PM  

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