Depressin' Donuts

If George Orwell had created a chain coffee shop to mix up the plot a bit in 1984, it would have looked a lot like Dunkin' Donuts. In fact, I'm not totally convinced that Orwell didn't create Dunkin' Donuts.

It's not like I never go to DD, or that I think their products are an affront to coffee and donutkind, but Dunks makes its mark by being everywhere and being just good enough to get people to come back for more.

The ubiquitousness of Dunkin' Donuts is pretty frightening. There's no need for Big Brother when there's a Dunkin' Donuts on every corner, in every supermarket, and in every gas station. Before long, Dunkin' Donuts will be opening up a franchise in your dining room.

The overall quality of Dunkin' Donuts is fair at best. Sure, a lot of people profess to love their coffee, but that's likely due to the brain-altering chemicals they add to the beans. Dunkin' Donuts coffee is no better and no worse than the coffee at any other number of chains or supermarkets. As for the food, the donuts seem to come out in the morning stale, and they don't get any better from there, and I'd take an Egg McMuffin over their breakfast sandwiches any day.

Finally, Dunkin' Donuts seems to have perfected some kind of Eastern Bloc communist ideal of utilitarian drabness. What makes this even more impressive is that they have managed this even while using a pink and orange color scheme. So, If I need a coffee, and that's bound to happen sooner rather tan later, there's the chance I will be one of the DD drones waiting in the drive-through line, but dammit, I won't feel good about it.