Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Shameless cross promotion

I have posted my first offering on my new music blog - Like a rolling pin.

I created Like a rolling pin as a way to combine two of my favorite things, writing and music. Unfortunately, I haven't quite hit on the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup moment of combining two great things that go great together.

As much as I love rock and jazz and assorted other types of musical pleasures, whenever I try to write about music, it usually comes out sounding like something scrawled in crayon on the dining room wall by a four-year-old.

If that doesn't pique your curiosity, I don't know what will, so go ahead, check out my rocking new blog by either hitting the link to the right or going to likearollingpin.blogspot.com. And if you think it sucks, just remember, I warned you.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

You're doing a heck of a job, Bushie

Carrie was one of the 1,500 or so people who were called for an L.A. Times/Bloomberg poll that shows that people aren't all that thrilled with our Commander-in-Chief.

Luckily, she answered the phone when the pollster called. If I had answered the phone, chances are I would have been too engrossed in King of the Hill to take part, possibly creating a chance that the L.A. Times would have called someone who thought the president is doing at least some small part of his job well.

Of course, maybe the president will use his State of the Union address to finally explain why we're in Iraq . . . oh yeah, I think he's already tried that one a couple of times. Maybe he can point out how well his administration responds in times of a natural dis. . .umm, never mind. There's always the bump he can get from his steadfast defense of the Constitu. . ., ahh, wait a minute. Maybe the president should just be happy he has any percentage of people who think he does something positive.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Headline of the day on CNN.com

Bush visits super-secret spies

I wonder if he also plans to visit moose and squirrel?

Friday, January 20, 2006

Starbucks complaint department

Dear Mr. Starbucks:

Listen, I know that lots of people complain about Starbucks - they're killing independent cafes, the coffee is too expensive, the coffee's not that good.

Whatever. There's probably some truth in all of that, although that doesn't seem to stop all the people who complain from stopping in for their daily doses of non-fat double lattes.

But I just have one simple complaint that should be able to be easily rectified. When I ask for a coffee with room for cream, for God's sake, make sure there is room for more than a drop of cream. Whenever I ask for room for cream, whoever pours it usually leaves about 2 millimeters of space, just enough for me to add a drop of cream without splashing hot coffee all over myself, just enough cream to turn the coffee a quarter-shade less black. Thanks, barista guy!

Really, if you do not leave me a reasonable enough amount of space for cream in the future, I have no problems with pouring half the freaking cup of coffee into your garbage can so I can get it to a drinkable level.



Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Outgrowing my trousers

For Christmas this year, I got a couple of new pairs of pants for work. This was a good thing, since I really needed some new pants for work, since Carrie made me throw out a couple of pairs that I had apparently outgrown, or were so worn or so far out of fashion so as to be slightly embarrassing for everyone involved.

Unfortunately, I still haven't come to complete terms with my expanding waistline. I asked for pants with a 34 inch waist, just like most of the pants I already own, even though the chances of any of those pants fitting me usually depends on the particular cut, how many days in a row I've worn the pants without washing them in order to stretch them out, and general luck. Oh yeah, there are also my "motion-flex" pants which allow for a more "customized" fit. Basically, they have an elastic waistband. Carrie finds this very amusing. I wear them entirely too much because they are comfortable. I ignore the fact that the cuffed bottoms leave them entirely too short and I've never been able to exactly figure what color they are. Occasionally they look green, sometimes brown, sometimes tan. I think they may be made out of the same material as mood rings.

I do own a couple pairs of jeans with a 36 inch waist, but I have generally treated those as, you know, comfortable pants,almost like pajama bottoms. When it comes to dressing professionally, I squeeze myself into the 34's or give myself a bit of breathing room in the "motion-flex" mood ring pants.
So that's that. I circled some pants I liked in my in-law's LL Bean catalog and helpfully if stubbornly noted that I wear 34-32's. Christmas Eve, I get two stylish looking new pairs of trousers, 34-32.

"You sure those will fit?" Carrie asks as I throw out the packaging.

"Oh yeah," I said. "All my work pants are 34s."

Three days later, as Carrie is trying on some of the clothes she got for Christmas, I decide to try on my LL Bean pants, just for fun, of course. Squeeze them up to my waistline, get the zipper about half-way up, take a really deep breath, and finish the process.

"How do they fit?" she asks.

"Fit great," I gasp.

"Let me see," she says.

So I do my fashion show. Lift up my shirt to show off the fit, my little basketball of a belly spilling over the waistline, which may actually be rolling down to accommodate said belly (although this is still under protest). In addition to the waistline, the fit a little bit, well, lower down, makes it look like I'm trying out as the replacement bass player for an 80's hairband reunion. Just a bit snug, we'll say.

"There's no way in hell you're wearing those out of the house," she says.

"What," I said. "They fit fine, just like all my other pants. Look, the length's good."

No go. I agree to send the pants back for a less obscene fit.

Which I'm not too overly disappointed about, since I'm starting to turn a little blue.