Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Mr. Poopie Pants

Baby Boy EC is home and doing well. Napping, pooping, staring at black and white targets and the lights on his play gym and all of that other totally adorable baby-type stuff. The Missus and I totally love him and I'm fairly certain that BB EC is getting used to us.

As expectant parents, the Missus and I probably got a lot of advice and tips, some solicited and some not. Most of the the little tidbits I heard broke down like this - your life will change forever, get use to not sleeping, and you will get peed on. Sure enough, two weeks in, and it's all pretty much true. Of course, it was all pretty blatantly obvious advice - what, you mean there is a little person who can't do much on his own and is going to depend on me and my wife 24 hours a day and you think my life is going to change - well golly gee, and I was really hoping to start training this spring for that ascent of Mt. Everest I've been putting off for years.

The lack of sleep and the getting sprayed by the peepee is also kind of obvious, but nobody bothered to tell me that there are two less obvious derivations of those old standbys.

First, the sleep. BB EC obviously needs to be fed and changed every couple of hours, so there is a decided lack of sleep. But, luckily for me and the Missus, BB EC has been a pretty good sleeper, and we've all been able to get back to sleep during the night after the 30 minutes of the feeding and changing ritual. What may actually be the bigger shock to the system isn't the lack of sleeping, but the lack of any kind of coherent eating schedule for the grown ups. If Mrs. EC and I can get the window to throw together a sandwich and wolf it down for lunch by 4 pm. its a good day. Doing the math, that pushes dinner time back somewhere between 8 pm and breakfast the next day. About the best advice I can give to ensure you don't waste away while your newborn is eating everyday is to make sure there are plenty of foods around that can be eaten with one hand. Pop Tarts and granola bars are high on the list.

And for getting sprayed, it really isn't the pee that's the biggest shock the first time it happens (although it is pretty amazing that he can send a stream clear across the changing table to the other side of the room). Nope, it's the stuff shooting out the back end. Apparently, the fresh air on a baby's bottom acts as a kind of laxative. Luckily, being a baby is about the only time when everyone is thrilled that you're pooping, no matter where it lands, and BB EC is making the most of it.

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Blogger David Sullivan said...

My four year old projectile dumped on my wife once and she was standing 5 feet from the changing table...no exaggeration!!!

I was changing him. We were oohing and ahhing at him when he grimaced and shit a stream that shot out on the radar gun at about 93 mph. I jumped back and avoided the pea green stream, but my wife was in the direct line of fire. I started laughing and trying to hold back my vomitat the same time while my wife just stood there like "Carrie" on prom night, sobbing.

Good times!!!

7:51 PM  
Blogger Suldog said...

I guess congratulations are in order, eh? Welcome to Poopyland!

12:52 PM  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Projectile poo: it's not just for penguins anymore.

3:11 PM  
Blogger "Dootz" said...

...and, friend, it stinks more the older they get.

Mazeltov, many times over.


12:15 PM  
Blogger A.J. Cordi said...

I was videotaping my Godson having a bath when just about a month old (or so). He was on his back and peed straight into the air.

Literally, the Fountain of Youth, lol.

11:26 PM  

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