I have not become any less idiotic during my absence

I'm a doofus, I make no secret of this, although I generally try hard not to publicize my more oafish ways while I'm at work. You know, I try to stay professional and such. Which typically works out fine for me, until I am faced with a task as complex and mind-bendingly difficult as opening a door.

In my defense, my office has a very convoluted door situation. We all have keycards that open about one-third of the doors, some doors are always left open, one door has a keypad lock, and some doors are closed but have no locks.

So, the other day I am walking down the hall and am confronted by a door which has always been open, yet is now closed. Looks just like the last door I went through, so I try to open it with the handle. No go.

"What the hell," I mutter to myself, continuing to jiggle the handle. Doesn't look like it was locked at the handle. Getting nowhere, I begin to inspect the top of the door. Looks like it should open. I begin banging on the door, thinking it may be stuck. I look around for large pieces of wood that I could use for leverage.

I'm about five seconds away from throwing my shoulder into the damn thing, when a coworker comes up behind me.

"Ummm, I think you need your keycard to open that," she tells me.

"Yeah, ah, okay. I'm an idiot."